15 Types Of Sex You Have In Your 20s

15 Types Of Sex You Have In Your 20s - When you received that copy of "Oh! The Places You'll Go!" for your college graduation, the well-meaning relative who presented it was probably thinking of your intended career path (or the four others you've tried since) or the cities where you might live. But as many 30-somethings looking back can attest, your 20s often involve experimentation of another variety as well. Between the ages of 20 and 30, your life is probably going to involve a decent amount of sex. And since this is the decade of exploring your options, that sex tends to be anything but uniform.

Here are 15 types of sex that you probably have had (or will have) during your 20-something years:

**Disclaimer: Some of the following can happen simultaneously.**

1. Bad.

Let's be honest. When you're in your 20s, you still aren't necessarily sure exactly what you like, how you like it and who you like it from. In the midst of your sexual experimentation, there are bound to be a few less-than-awesome experiences. Your partner might have absolutely no idea what he or she is doing, or just be too self-involved to care. For an explicit example of said bad sex, see every intimate scene in the pilot episode of "Girls."

2. "You're Convenient" Sex

Location, location, location. Maybe it's the person who you've run into in your apartment building on occasion and shot a (you hope) seductive glance, or that friend of a friend who lives three blocks away and made out with you at that party a few months back. You'll probably phone him or her after midnight and only when you're bored. And you'll hopefully enjoy yourself thoroughly once that call is made. (If the convenient sex also happens to be "just plain bad" sex, it likely won't happen more than once, which brings us to...)

3. One-Night-Stand Sex

Some sexual experiences just aren't meant to be repeated. At some point in your 20s you'll probably find yourself waking up in the bed of a near-stranger: someone you met at a bar or a party or one of your classes. You may not have intended to, or perhaps this was your plan for the evening as soon as you laid eyes on the person. You'll probably open your eyes after a night of moderately enjoyable sex seized with a desperate desire to grab your bra off the floor, high-tail it out the door and eat some brunch with people that you do want to hang out with for more than one night.

4. "I Could Actually Date You" Sex

This type of sex means something emotionally, which might make it the scariest kind of all. You may feel vulnerable and overly aware of your body as you take off your clothing. Since you actually feel some flicker of a feeling about the person you're with, you'll probably take time to think about what they want in bed and how you can give it to them, and worry that you won't do a good job, and hope that chemistry will intervene to make it great anyway, and that even if it isn't they they might find a way to love you regardless.

5. Creatively-Located Sex

The stacks. An airplane bathroom. A hostel hallway. Your parents' bed. A bar. The park. An alley. Your car. The possibilities are endless, and while it's fun to hope that you will still be this adventurous in your 30s, a carpe diem approach is probably advisable here. Also, these are not moments to hold back. Admit that this could also be called "do-it-for-the-story sex," then do it for the story.

6. Drunk Sex

Often combined with #1 and/or #3, this type of sexual experience is usually less than amazing. Great sex usually requires some amount of athleticism, and a bunch of uncoordinated flailing limbs, plus an alcohol-sedated nervous system, does not a mind-blowing orgasm make. On the plus side, you might be too sloshed to notice and/or care ... or even remember it the next morning. If you go in for this sort of thing (and you probably will), just make sure you've made a booze-resistant commitment to using protection before the first tequila shot.

7. Friend Sex

At some point during your 20s, you'll likely reach a point with a previously platonic friend in which you both agree that it's a great idea to sleep together. In most cases, it won't be. (Unless you're those uber-lucky, meant-for-each-other, "When Harry Met Sally" types.) If the sex is great, you'll either become gray area "friends with benefits," or just laugh about it a lot for years to come. If the sex is bad, you'll probably never ever speak of it again.

8. Sex For One

Sex by yourself is a great way to learn what it is you want from a sexual experience with a partner. It's healthy, it relieves stress and hell -- women deserve orgasms in or out of relationships. Hopefully, by the time you leave your 20s you'll know exactly how to make yourself feel good, sans assistance from another person.

9. Nonexistent Sex

There are times -- during any period of your life -- when you're just not having sex at all. Let's be real, we've all had a dry spell. It might be frustrating, but it's also a great time to reflect on what you actually want from your sexual experiences when they inevitably begin again. Plus, just when you've become totally convinced that you will never have another non-self-bestowed orgasm in your life, you'll be proven wrong.

10. Make-Up Sex

If you find yourself in a relationship during your 20-something years, the odds are pretty good that you'll get into some fights -- possibly dramatic ones (your 20s are good for nothing if not theater). You'll get extremely frustrated at your significant other for being inattentive or letting work consume him or her or being a jacka** to your friends. You'll scream at each other, perhaps shed a few tears ... and then channel all of that anger into some really excellent sexual play. It might not actually fix the holes in a romantic relationship between two 23-year-olds, but it is a good way to remind yourself of at least one way in which you connect.

11. Vindication Sex

Everyone has those one, or two, or ten unrequited crushes. At some point during your 20s you'll probably find yourself in the position to sleep with someone who previously rejected you or considered you below their notice. It probably won't be all that great, and you may not feel great morally afterwards. You will, however, leave with the satisfaction that you didn't peak in your teens years.

12. Home-For-The-Holidays Sex

During your 20s, you're likely traveling back to your hometown for the November and December holidays each year. During these awkward -- and delicious -- few weeks, you'll probably run into any number of people from earlier in your life, including one or more ghosts of friends-with-benefits past. You may find it uniquely satisfying to have a short, no-strings-attached fling (or just a night) with said person(s) each time you return. If you're still living in your hometown, you'll get to capitalize on everyone who's in town. There's bound to be quite a bit of overlap between this type of sex and #11.

13. One-More-Time Sex

You've sworn this person off, but for some reason you can't get him or her out of your head. Despite the fact that you and probably all your friends recognize that he or she is terrible for you, you may still fall back into bed with them ... just one more time. This kind of sex can be absolutely fantastic physically, but the emotional fallout usually makes it one you regret (and hopefully learn from).

14. Barter-System Sex

Sometimes you just really want some help putting together your IKEA furniture. And sometimes a little bit of (purely) physical pleasure comes out of a day of Allen key usage. It's really a win-win situation.

15. "Oh, THAT'S What It Should Feel Like" Sex

With any luck, you will have a moment at some point during your 20s (if not earlier), when you realize what truly great sex with another person feels like. Maybe it's taken getting into a committed relationship to feel comfortable telling a partner what you really want sexually, or maybe you're having a one-night-stand with someone who you have no emotional connection to but who somehow really understands how to please you in bed. Regardless, after you do have that "ah-hah!" moment, congratulate yourself. Then go try to recreate it as many times as possible. ( huffingtonpost.com )

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Eyes right! Army wives stage charge of the lightly dressed brigade... but could fundraising calendar girls be getting over-exposed?

Eyes right! Army wives stage charge of the lightly dressed brigade... but could fundraising calendar girls be getting over-exposed? - There are many ways to show support for the heroism and sacrifices of Britain’s Armed Forces – but this has to be one of the most audacious.

These military wives have chosen to honour their husbands by posing for a series of provocative pictures with little more than a small item of uniform to protect their modesty.

The self-styled Garrison Girls, married to men serving in all three services, have posed for a new nude calendar, all in aid of treating post-traumatic stress for those who have served on the front line.

 
Shock and awe: A group of military wives, including Miss September, left, and Miss December, right, have bared all for a calendar to honour their husbands and raise money for the treatment of post-traumatic stress disorder

 
 

You can leave your hat on: The calendar, which includes Miss April, left, and Miss August, right, was inspired by the 2003 hit comedy film Calendar Girls 

The women have never modelled before but are pictured exposing their breasts, bottoms and thighs – and in one case, a pregnant wife poses with her husband’s Army helmet tenderly placed on her baby bump, in an echo of Demi Moore’s famous 1991 Vanity Fair cover.

The women’s faces are deliberately hidden so they represent ‘all Forces wives’, according to calendar organiser Sarah Bennett Thurston.

Mrs Thurston, 35, whose husband Paul is in the Royal Signals, admits she was inspired by the original Calendar Girls of the Rylstone Women’s Institute.

‘I wanted to do something positive,’ she said. ‘It all started when I watched a nude photoshoot on a BBC programme about empowering women, and shortly afterwards I had to explain to my children  why my friend’s husband wasn’t coming home.

Cover girl: The women, who have never modelled before, including Miss November, left, and the front cover model, right, posed with helmets, berets and sailor hats

‘It is very hard being a military wife and I wanted to do something to empower the girls. This shows them as they really are, with cellulite and stretch marks, but they all look gorgeous.

‘We have deliberately left out the girls’ faces to show they represent all military wives and we are all in this together.

‘It is about our commitment to the Forces, not about individual women getting their kit off.’

Miss August is a blonde woman kneeling down wearing a sailor’s hat and provocatively revealing her bottom, while Miss February is perched on a table in a fetal position. 

 
Before and after: Expectant mother Lorna Rogers posed naked for the Garrison Girls calendar, left, shortly before the birth of her son Austin, pictured right at just one week old 

For November, a woman poses in profile with her left breast bared and a red Royal Military Police hat placed carefully on her lap, while January’s model simply reveals her exposed buttocks, topped by an RAF hat.

Lorna Rogers, from Wigan, posed as Miss March when she was five months pregnant with her second child, Austin, who is now a week old.

The 20-year-old, whose husband Adam is a sapper in the Royal Engineers, said: ‘Military life is very hard and being pregnant you feel very vulnerable knowing that your husband could be due to go away on tour next. I wanted to show support by doing the shoot.

‘I was honoured to be asked but nervous at the same time, but the other wives made me feel very comfortable. My husband was chuffed and very proud. He loves the final photo.

 
Bottoms up: Miss January 2014, left, and Miss July, right, give a toast to the servicemen in the armed forces 

‘Adam and I were high-school sweethearts and I was nervous when he said he was joining the Army but I knew it was something he wanted to do. It’s hard being away from family, but you make great friends.’

The other women who have taken part in the calendar, ranging in age from 19 to 40, want to remain anonymous. Their husbands include bomb disposal experts in the Royal Engineers, communications experts in the Royal Signals and sailors aboard HMS Sutherland.

Mrs Thurston added: ‘Some of the girls did the calendar shoot while their husbands were away in Afghanistan and it was their way of doing something to support them.

 
The Army Wives: The women who took part in the calendar, including Miss January 2013, left, and Miss May, right, wish to remain anonymous 

‘One of the women got her calendar picture sent to her early as her husband came home on leave and we wanted him to approve it too.

‘Another woman has remained in England with her two children while her husband is posted in Germany for two years. It is incredibly hard for them and this was her way of giving something back.’

Garrison Girls have been producing calendars since 2008. The 2013 edition is available from  garrisongirls.com, priced £10.

The ladies waiting back home: The women's faces, including Miss February, left, and Miss June, right, have been obscured so they represent 'all Forces wives' ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Eyes right! Army wives stage charge of the lightly dressed brigade... but could fundraising calendar girls be getting over-exposed?

Sex scenes in movies

Sex scenes in movies—the non-pornographic ones, that is—tend to exist in a few rigidly defined categories: they can be erotic (the scene in Boogie Nights when Julianne Moore coaches Mark Wahlberg through his first shoot), comically grotesque (Ben Stiller and Greta Gerwig’s excruciating beer-and-cunnilingus date in Greenberg) or deliberately repellant (the bone-chilling coupling of Selma Blair and Robert Wisdom in Storytelling). Sometimes these categories can overlap—Awkward and sexy! Disturbing and hot!—but rarely will a movie step outside their bounds entirely and try something new. Then there is that very rare sex scene—say, Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie in their Venice hotel room in Nicolas Roeg’s Don’t Look Now—that does it all: turns us on, moves us emotionally, advances the story, reveals something about the characters, and showcases the filmmaker’s art.

The encounters between a severely disabled man and a hired sex surrogate in Ben Lewin’s The Sessions (Fox Searchlight) may not achieve Don’t Look Now’s level of cinematic artistry, but this frank, funny, tender film both asks and receives more from its sex scenes than any movie I’ve seen in a long time. Lord knows it gets a chance to thoroughly explore the topic: The Sessions is a movie structured entirely around sex, with naked therapy sessions between Mark O’Brien (John Hawkes) and Cheryl Cohen-Greene (Helen Hunt) making up the bulk of the movie’s slim 98-minute running time. When not having sex, Mark is usually either thinking about sex, writing poems about sex, or having no-holds-barred discussions about sex with his unflappable caregiver (Moon Bloodgood) and his free-thinking priest (a marvelous William H. Macy).

Mark O’Brien was a real person, a Bay Area man who died in 1999 at age 49. After having polio as a child, he spent most of the rest of his life in an iron-lung contraption, unable to move any part of his body but his head. A writer and poet (he typed on a computer keyboard using a mouthstick), O’Brien published a remarkable article in 1990 about setting out to lose his virginity to a professional surrogate at 38, after a lifetime of confusion and shame about his sexuality. It’s this piece that Lewin adapted into his screenplay for The Sessions, taking at least one significant dramatic liberty—in real life, O’Brien didn’t fall in love with the surrogate, nor she with him.

The Sessions is, at one level, a love story about the intimacy that grows between these two very particular people. But it’s also an ode to the act of intimacy itself, an unsentimental celebration of the power of sexual healing. Lewin treats sex neither as titillation nor taboo, but as a necessary anatomical function that’s also humanity’s greatest source of pleasure, connection, and mystery. The Sessions is only R-rated, but it’s not a movie you’d want to see with your parents (there should be a separate scale of MPAA ratings for that). The scenes of Hunt and Hawkes in bed together aren’t graphic, exactly, but they’re unadornedly real—there’s full- frontal female nudity (though no penises, for ratings reasons no doubt), close-ups of ears being kneaded and breasts being stroked, and lots of matter-of-fact, often funny banter between client and therapist about what feels good, what doesn’t, and what to do next.

Hawkes is phenomenal as the nervous, phobic, disarmingly honest Mark; there’s not a trace of self-pity or Oscar-baiting in his performance. (In fact, one of Mark’s more charming characteristics is his willingness to complain, his refusal to play the role of the silently suffering gimp. Explaining his Catholic faith to a new acquaintance, he dryly observes, “I would find it absolutely intolerable not to have anyone to blame for all this.”) Hunt, too, is extraordinary as the outwardly warm and nurturing but inwardly fragile sex therapist who must hide her growing connection to her client from her husband (an underused Adam Arkin). The Sessions will no doubt be marketed as an uplifting drama about triumphing over adversity. See it, instead, because it may be the year’s best movie about getting it on. ( slate.com )

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Ooh La La! Paris's iconic and risque Crazy Horse cabaret lands in London

Ooh La La! Paris's iconic and risque Crazy Horse cabaret lands in London - The iconic Crazy Horse – often referred to as Le Crazy – which has been seducing audiences in Paris and Vegas for over 60 years is for the first time ever staging a production on this side of the Channel.

Forever Crazy is a contemporary  glamorous 'best of' show housed in a pop-up recreation of the Parisian venue – essentially a super-luxe tent – on London's South Bank, for just three months.

The avant-garde revue features a cast of ten dazzling dancers from around the world. 

The Crazy Horse has landed in London and it's sexy, fun and very risque

The girls are a glossy, statuesque fantasy and different from beautiful women you see day to day. 

They are sublime physical clones of one other with pert curves, sharp, muscular definition and arched backs that form perfect semicircles. 

They're classically trained dancers and former ballerinas so the signature Crazy way of walking, dancing and behaving: sexily, elegantly, as if weightless and effortless is something they portray with perfection.

But it's not easy.

Each 90 minute show is exactly the same and consists of 14 sensual segments with a 20 minute interval, which you'll need to catch your breath. 

The girls rotate to dance the solo performances, so each one is signature to all. 

When Forever Crazy invited the FEMAIL team to come down we jumped at the opportunity. 

The girls are a glossy, statuesque fantasy and different from beautiful women you see day to day

Past guest performers include Carmen Electra, Immodesty Blaize, Dita Von Teese and Pamela Anderson. 

Demi Moore learned the ropes for Striptease by watching the Crazy. This was not one to be missed.

We were first treated to a twist on marching Coldstream Guards in God Save Our Bareskins; an army of snappy and seductive 'guards' in Bareskin outfits consisting of a tall fur hat and not much else. 

Although this act has actually opened every Crazy show for the past 30 years it was also a fitting welcome for a British audience. 

Crazy Horse manager Andrée Deissenberg has since told me this routine was choreographed by a lieutenant of the British Army.

 
 

There was a lot of impossibly elegant writhing on furniture in Leçon d’érotisme, Rougir De Desir and Purple Underground

The music was fiery, wild and rocky in Chain Gang where a dancer – the embodiment of a caged feline – bathed in a leopard-print projection cavorts in a makeshift bendy cage: frustrated, dangerous and sexy. 

What followed was a brilliantly kooky leg display in Legmania: like something out of a Robert Palmer video in the 80s six girls lie down, legs in the air and perform a synchronised show with kicks, flicks and bends, bathed in lights, wearing Louboutins of course.

Talented hand dancing guest performers Up & Over It stole the show with their depiction of a dishevelled young couple in a drink and drug-fuelled post-party row played out with no words yet conveying a witty, gritty yet playfully warm narrative.

Thoroughly modern pieces shone among the oldies such as Crisis? What Crisis!

What followed was a brilliantly kooky leg display in Legmania

There was a lot of impossibly elegant writhing on furniture in Leçon d’érotisme, Rougir De Desir and Purple Underground. 

Thoroughly modern pieces shone among the oldies such as Crisis? What Crisis! – depicting a trader engaging in the only striptease from full clothing to nudity, a self-styled antidote to the misery of the financial crisis – and Scanner, a quintet of hair-flipping hotties each taking their turn to cut a rug while a stealthy horizontal light moves up and down the stage.

Critics call the Crazy sexist while their owners prefer 'exotic ballet' and 'sensual striptease'. While unlike traditional burlesque it's more erotic than flirtatious, it follows the rule of suggestion rather than explicitness. Although the girls perform mainly in the nude you won't really see them naked.

They're 'dressed' in stage lights, projections and mirrors, leaving some work to the imagination. 

Unfortunately, though, while they're fiesty and expressive they're mute. The girls mime along to some songs and it would have been nice to hear at least one sing live. It seems the point is not to get to warm to their characters but just to witness them in overt sexual expression.

Nevertheless this didn't take away from an awe-inspiring spectacle. 

The Crazy remains a legendary institution in its own right and the epitome of slick and triple-filtered cabaret interlaced with the world of fashion and art. 

While unlike traditional burlesque it's more erotic than flirtatious

Thousands of girls apply for the roles but only a select few are chosen and sent to boot camp

The lips sofa in Leçon d’érotisme is inspired by the one masterminded by Crazy fan Salvador Dali. Andy Warhol also frequented the show, as did Madonna, Prince, Jean-Paul Goultier – in whose show the girls have walked, David Lynch – for whom they've modelled, Steven Spielberg and many more, including President Kennedy.

Thousands of girls audition each year for just a handful of spots in the Crazy Horse troupe.

The successful candidates must be beautiful and meet strict height, wight and measurement criteria. They're sent to a Parisian boot camp for several months to learn the art of how to be a Crazy Girl, their names are changed. 

They must have next to no tattoos or plastic surgery (guest perfromers are an exception).

It's this rigour and refinement that separates the Crazy from the dribbly Playboy or its jiggly neighbour, the Moulin Rouge. It's as much a cool celebration of high-production as it is of an ideal of femininity. ( dailymail.co.uk )

The Crazy Horse presents Forever Crazy at 99 Upper Ground, South Bank SE1. Sept 18-Dec 22. forevercrazy.co.uk

READ MORE - Ooh La La! Paris's iconic and risque Crazy Horse cabaret lands in London

Kim Kardashian denies having threesome with porn stars at swingers' party

Denial: Kim has denied taking part in a threesome when she was 20

'Absurd and not true': Kim Kardashian denies having threesome with porn stars at swingers' party - Kim Kardashian's camp have refuted claims the reality star had a threesome with a male and female porn star 12 years ago.

Veteran porn actor Julian St. Jox says he shared a night of passion with the reality star when she was 20 years old back in September 2001 at a swingers' party.

And he claimed Kim, 31, also romped with his date of the evening - a female porn star called Emily Ann.

Kim is said to have arrived to the event on the arm of a black male, according to Star magazine.

At the time she was married to music producer Damon Thomas, although the publication says it is not clear if he was her date to the party.

St Jox said: 'As soon as Kim walked in, everyone was looking. She wasn’t known at the time at all, not like today, but for everyone who frequented these parties, she was interesting because she was a new face.'

The porn star said his date - Emily Ann - took a liking to Kim and propositioned her.

After some dirty dancing, Kim and her date joined the two porn stars in a private room later in the evening, the magazine claims.

There, Kim apparently had sex with both St Jox and Ann, the publication reports.

Claims: Veteran porn actor Julian St. Jox says Kim had sex with him and a fellow female porn star

'She knew what she was doing. She was very responsive to me', St. Jox recalled.

However a representative for Kim told MailOnline the report is 'absurd and not true'.

Kim rose to fame after a sex tape of her and then-boyfriend Ray-J - filmed in 2003 - was leaked online in 2007. ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Kim Kardashian denies having threesome with porn stars at swingers' party

Lady Gaga the exhibitionist flashes her bare breasts in home video posted on YouTube

Lady Gaga the exhibitionist flashes her bare breasts in home video posted on YouTube - She has often posed nude and happily sports revealing costumes for her stage performances so Lady Gaga is no stranger to stripping off.

But while she usually has strategically placed items to protect her modesty the singer has now instead decided to bare all in a home video.

The 26-year-old shared a video on YouTube with her fans which was made up of footage from her home collection.

Scroll down to watch the video

Baring all: Lady Gaga posted a home video to Youtube in which she can be seen flashing her bare breasts

And one video sees Gaga repeatedly flashing her bare breasts as she dances around her living room for the camera.

Gaga, real name Stefani Germanotta, explains that the clip was shot on Christmas Day by her younger sister Natali.

It sees the superstar lip-synching and pulling shapes to her song Sheisse before lifting up her baggy black top to reveal she is wearing nothing underneath.

Laid-back: The singer reveals all as she dances around her living room on Christmas Day

Let me entertain you: Gaga can be seen flashing her breasts several times as part of her impromptu dance routine

Natali can be heard laughing in the background as fans get a rare insight into the star’s laid-back family life.

Her mother Cynthia then emerges from the kitchen and joins her famous daughter for a spot of dancing before handing her a lit up miniature Christmas tree.

Gaga looks less like a megastar and more like an aspiring pop star as she uses the prop as though it were a microphone in her casual outfit, with her platinum blonde locks in a messy high ponytail.

The revealing footage was just one of three home videos Gaga shared with her fans via her Youtube channel.

Christmas with the Gagas: The star is dancing to her song Sheisse and is then joined by her mother Cynthia (R)

Down to earth: Gaga can be seen lip-synching into a lit up miniature Christmas tree which she pretends is a microphone

In another clip she can be seen spending time with her young cousin Zachary and a third and final sees her rehearsing the choreography for a performance.

Each clip is interspersed with segments of a make-up free Gaga talking to the camera as she explains the story behind each of the videos.

The star, who is currently in Latvia, has been showing off a new look lately after dying her hair what she describes as ‘Louis Vuitton brown’: brunette with a blonde streak.

Gaga most recently posed nude in the advert for her new fragrance Fame, where she can be seen lying naked save for a few ‘tiny men’ crawling over her.

Fun with fans: The star shares three home videos with her 'little monsters' as a treat on her Youtube channel

How cute: Another clip sees Gaga cuddling up to her young cousin Zachary ( dailymail.co.uk )

READ MORE - Lady Gaga the exhibitionist flashes her bare breasts in home video posted on YouTube

Prince Harry Naked Photos During Vegas Rager exclusive

Prince Harry put the crown jewels on display in Vegas this weekend ... getting BARE ASS NAKED during a game of strip billiards with a room full of friends in his VIP suite.

It all went down Friday night during a raging party in a high rollers hotel suite.

We're told Harry, along with a large entourage, went down to the hotel bar and met a bunch of hot chicks ... and invited them up to his VIP suite.

Once in the room, things got WILD ... with the group playing a game of strip pool that quickly escalated into full-on royal nudity.

Prince Harry

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Some of the partiers snapped photos of the madness. In one photo, a fully nude Harry cups his genitals while a seemingly topless woman stands behind him.

In another photo, a naked Harry is bear-hugging a woman who appears to be completely naked as well.

No word on who the women are ... or if they got Harry's phone number.

A rep for the Royal Family tells us, "We have no comment to make on the photos at this time." (
tmz.com )

READ MORE - Prince Harry Naked Photos During Vegas Rager exclusive

Kamasutra teaches emotional bonding

Kamasutra teaches emotional bonding - The ancient manual to love-making is not restricted to only the physical aspect of your relationship. It also holds the key to a healthy emotional bond with your partner.

The notion that Kamasutra speaks solely of the physical aspect of sex is extremely skewed. The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex

The purpose of Kamasutra was not merely to educate masses about different sexual techniques, but promote a healthy relationship between the partners and constructively use sexual energy. Several Western (and even some Indian) authors, interpreters and commentators have paid attention only to the sexual / physicality aspect, leading to the scripture's misrepresentation. However, look deeper and the teachings of Kamasutra go far beyond sex

Kamasutra, key to emotional bonding(Getty Images)

Participation

Many positions (Asanaas) depicted in the Kamasutra call for active and equal participation of the woman. Rather than sticking to the monotonous / boring missionary position where the woman is a rather passive receiver, the scripture encourages more pro-active positions. Only when there's an equal contribution from both ends will the session truly be fulfilling and fruitful. There's no posture that's meant exclusively for the man, or the woman.

The message: Be it sex or any other matter; ensure that you equally involve your partner. Participation is the key word. When you seek an active role from your partner, (in and out of bed) he/she feels wanted and the synergy between the two leads to greater fulfilment. That's what samabhog (equal pleasure) is all about.


Body image Vs. the body

The varied techniques depicted in the scriptures make sex pleasurable for anyone irrespective of his/her body type and body shape. The person may be muscular, obese, or thin, body issues and pleasure are best not mixed, says Kamasutra.

The message: Work on your body image. You can still make the best of your body provided you stop having unrealistic expectations of how it should look. Acceptance is the word. Magazine covers may be flooded with images of perfect bodies, but don't let them sway you away from realism. Don't let negative body image play spoilsport in your life, sex


Touch matters

The Kamasutra lays a lot of importance on touch, and not only during intercourse. Going by the texts, touch is of varied forms, each designated to arouse a unique sensation from the partner depending on his/her liking. However, the role of touch starts from the foreplay stage itself (at times, the foreplay lasting for hours together) and continues till the very end.

The message: Do not undermine the power of small. That casual hug or the loving caress (initiated much before sex can say a lot more about your feelings than the act itself. The touch may not even lead to anything, but is a very potent method of conveying your emotions. It will do more good to your relationship than most other things.


Dress to impress

The scriptures' emphasis on shringaar cannot be undermined. Almost every character shown in the act in Kamasutra is embellished with elaborate ornaments. This includes men.

The message: While it does depict the culture and traditions of the time when these texts were written, the underlying idea is that of looking good and dressing up for your partner. Many couples after a few years of courting lose the urge to look good (for each other).

However, that's wrong. Just like you take the effort to dress up for a certain occasion, it is important to look at least presentable (if not great) for your partner. Do not undermine the importance of how you look. Get rid of the complacent attitude. It communicates that your partner is not important any more.


Go play

The scriptures pay a lot of importance on the fun element of sex. That is what converts a rather boring, mechanical session to something that a couple looks forward to. Try all the experimenting you want. If the fun element is missing, there's little that you can do.

The message: Learn to have fun with each other. Start by non-sexual activities and build a rapport. Play games, travel together, discuss movies, and find stimulating conversations. When fun becomes easy, no matter what the occasion, the joy will by default be communicated to other aspects of the relationship as well. ( indiatimes.com )

The Kamasutra also has advice on ways of making money and renewing friendship with a former lover

READ MORE - Kamasutra teaches emotional bonding

Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they're failing in life

Sex Is Cheap - Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they're failing in life - We keep hearing that young men are failing to adapt to contemporary life. Their financial prospects are impaired—earnings for 25- to 34-year-old men have fallen by 20 percent since 1971. Their college enrollment numbers trail women's: Only 43 percent of American undergraduates today are men. Last year, women made up the majority of the work force for the first time. And yet there is one area in which men are very much in charge: premarital heterosexual relationships.

When attractive women will still bed you, life for young men, even those who are floundering, just isn't so bad. This isn't to say that all men direct the course of their relationships. Plenty don't. But what many young men wish for—access to sex without too many complications or commitments—carries the day. If women were more fully in charge of how their relationships transpired, we'd be seeing, on average, more impressive wooing efforts, longer relationships, fewer premarital sexual partners, shorter cohabitations, and more marrying going on. Instead, according to the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health (which collects data well into adulthood), none of these things is occurring. Not one.The terms of contemporary sexual relationships favor men and what they want in relationships, not just despite the fact that what they have to offer has diminished, but in part because of it. And it's all thanks to supply and demand.

To better understand what's going on, it's worth a crash course in "sexual economics," an approach best articulated by social psychologists Roy Baumeister and Kathleen Vohs. As Baumeister, Vohs, and others have repeatedly shown, on average, men want sex more than women do. Call it sexist, call it whatever you want—the evidence shows it's true. In one frequently cited study, attractive young researchers separately approached opposite-sex strangers on Florida State University's campus and proposed casual sex. Three-quarters of the men were game, but not one woman said yes. I know: Women love sex too. But research like this consistently demonstrates that men have a greater and far less discriminating appetite for it. As Baumeister and Vohs note, sex in consensual relationships therefore commences only when women decide it does.

And yet despite the fact that women are holding the sexual purse strings, they aren't asking for much in return these days—the market "price" of sex is currently very low. There are several likely reasons for this. One is the spread of pornography: Since high-speed digital porn gives men additional sexual options—more supply for his elevated demand—it takes some measure of price control away from women. The Pill lowered the cost as well. There are also, quite simply, fewer social constraints on sexual relationships than there once were. As a result, the sexual decisions of young women look more like those of men than they once did, at least when women are in their twenties. The price of sex is low, in other words, in part because its costs to women are lower than they used to be.

But just as critical is the fact that a significant number of young men are faring rather badly in life, and are thus skewing the dating pool. It's not that the overall gender ratio in this country is out of whack; it's that there's a growing imbalance between the number of successful young women and successful young men. As a result, in many of the places where young people typically meet—on college campuses, in religious congregations, in cities that draw large numbers of twentysomethings—women outnumber men by significant margins. (In one Manhattan ZIP code, for example, women account for 63 percent of 22-year-olds.)

The idea that sex ratios alter sexual behavior is well-established. Analysis of demographic data from 117 countries has shown that when men outnumber women, women have the upper hand: Marriage rates rise and fewer children are born outside marriage. An oversupply of women, however, tends to lead to a more sexually permissive culture. The same holds true on college campuses. In the course of researching our book Premarital Sex in America, my co-author and I assessed the effects of campus sex ratios on women's sexual attitudes and behavior. We found that virginity is more common on those campuses where women comprise a smaller share of the student body, suggesting that they have the upper hand. By contrast, on campuses where women outnumber men, they are more negative about campus men, hold more negative views of their relationships, go on fewer dates, are less likely to have a boyfriend, and receive less commitment in exchange for sex.

The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health data offer other glimpses into just how low the cost of sex is for young men ages 18 through 23. Take the speed with which these men say their romantic relationships become sexual: 36 percent of young men's relationships add sex by the end of the second week of exclusivity; an additional 13 percent do so by the end of the first month. A second indicator of cheap sex is the share of young men's sexual relationships—30 percent—that don't involve romance at all: no wooing, no dates, no nothing. Finally, as my colleagues and I discovered in our interviews, striking numbers of young women are participating in unwanted sex—either particular acts they dislike or more frequent intercourse than they'd prefer or mimicking porn (being in a dating relationship is correlated to greater acceptance of and use of porn among women).

Yes, sex is clearly cheap for men. Women's "erotic capital," as Catherine Hakim of the London School of Economics has dubbed it, can still be traded for attention, a job, perhaps a boyfriend, and certainly all the sex she wants, but it can't assure her love and lifelong commitment. Not in this market. It's no surprise that the percentage of 25- to 34-year-olds who are married has shrunk by an average of 1 percent each year this past decade.

Jill, a 20-year-old college student from Texas, is one of the many young women my colleagues and I interviewed who finds herself confronting the sexual market's realities. Startlingly attractive and an all-star in all ways, she patiently endures her boyfriend's hemming and hawing about their future. If she were operating within a collegiate sexual economy that wasn't oversupplied with women, men would compete for her and she would easily secure the long-term commitment she says she wants. Meanwhile, Julia, a 21-year-old from Arizona who's been in a sexual relationship for two years, is frustrated by her boyfriend's wish to "enjoy the moment and not worry about the future." Michelle, a 20-year-old from Colorado, said she is in the same boat: "I had an ex-boyfriend of mine who said that, um, he didn't know if he was ever going to get married because, he said, there's always going to be someone better." If this is "the end of men," someone really ought to let them know.

And yet while young men's failures in life are not penalizing them in the bedroom, their sexual success may, ironically, be hindering their drive to achieve in life. Don't forget your Freud: Civilization is built on blocked, redirected, and channeled sexual impulse, because men will work for sex. Today's young men, however, seldom have to. As the authors of last year's book Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality put it, "Societies in which women have lots of autonomy and authority tend to be decidedly male-friendly, relaxed, tolerant, and plenty sexy." They're right. But then try getting men to do anything. ( slate.com )

READ MORE - Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they're failing in life

Married 3 Years and Still No Sex

Married 3 Years and Still No Sex - We dated in 2007 and married May '08. We had talked about sex and decided to wait until we were married. I bought a sexy white sat an night gown but exchanged it for an old night shirt when he walked in to the bedroom with a T-shirt and sweatpants on. Before we were married he told me he had a mild case of ED because of his blood pressure meds. I was a RN for 27 yrs so knew this could be worked around.

I'm 53 he is 60. We've both been married before. Before we got married he told me he had 3 rules to live by. Making love in the morning, napping in the afternoon and never go to bed angry. So far everyone has been broken. I have tried to initiate some intimacy - even just cuddling and been turned down. This has happened so many times I don't even try anymore. I attended his appt with the cardiologist and discussed the ED issue and the Dr changed his blood pressure meds and gave him prescriptions for Viagra and Cialis. I have planned romantic weekend get aways to no avail. I finally asked him point blank if he didn't find me sexually attractive. He denied this.

I went on an extended vacation alone up north for 3 weeks while he hiked the knob-stone trail in southern IN. He was more affectionate when we both returned home within a day of each other in time to celebrate our 3rd anniversary. He had a romantic restaurant booked and a hotel room for the night. My first thought was 'at last'. We shared a bottle of wine in the double whirlpool with some foreplay and then nothing. I got a little frisky with him and he informed me he couldn't perform on demand. I thought all the planning he had done was leading up to the grand finale. I was wrong. I try to bring up the issue at neutral times and it usually ends up with him storming out of the room. I feel like we are roommates not husband and wife.

When i told him how I felt and asked how our relationship was different from room mates his response was he never loved a roommate. He won't go to counseling. We took a course through our church called Fireproof your marriage based on the movie of the same name. I thought we were getting somewhere but when the course ended so did his interest in trying to improve communication and intimacy. I'm not prepared to live the rest of my life sexless but I'm also not stepping outside my marriage. I moved from Ontario Canada to come to the USA to be with him. I really didn't have any ties holding me there where he has 2 grown daughters grandchildren, brother and sister and parents that are still alive.

I love his family and being a grandma. But that does preclude my need to feel loved and desired by the man I married. I am reaching the point of walking away, but I do love him. He can be controlling or try to be but I have a strong personality so that usually ends up in an argument, Times like that I feel he's using depriving my of sex as a control tactic. I don't know that that is the case but that is how I feel. I'm at a loss of what other suggestions to try and would appreciate any feedback or insight that may help me deal with this situation. ( webmd.com )

READ MORE - Married 3 Years and Still No Sex

Does Public Nudity Spread Disease? - Not especially.

Does Public Nudity Spread Disease? - Not especially - A proposed law in San Francisco would require the city's nudists to cover public seats with a protective barrier before sitting down. Supervisor Scott Wiener, who introduced the bill, claims that sharing bus seats, cafe benches, and restaurant chairs with naked people is a threat to public health. It's a claim that's been repeated in city ordinances and even a Supreme Court case. Does public nudity really increase the spread of infectious diseases?

Not especially. Unlike most cities in the United States, San Francisco law has allowed public nudity for years so long as it is not "lewd" (i.e. directly connected to a sex act). Yet the city's department of public health has no published cases of a person who became sick from exposure to the neighborhood nudists. Whatever bodily microbes one of them might deposit on a seat pose no more of a health risk than those you might find in a public restroom or pick up by shaking hands with a stranger.

There isn't much reason to fear getting a sexually transmitted disease from naked sitters. These infections are most commonly the result of vigorous and prolonged exposure of a person's mucous membranes, the thinner and more permeable skin found in the mouth and on the genitals. If you happened to share a seat with an infected nudist, you'd be protected both by your clothes and by your epidermis, which serves as an effective barrier against pathogens all by itself.

Can you catch a cold, or worse, from nudists?

Scabies can survive apart from a human body for a few days, and are known to be transmitted via shared bedding or other nonsexual pathways. Extended, skin-to-skin contact does pose a risk of infection, but the danger of picking up the disease from a seat—especially if you're wearing clothes yourself—is negligible.

Diseases like salmonella, E. coli, and hepatitis A, which can be transmitted through the fecal-oral route, might also seem like threats, but there's no reason to believe that public nudity would lead to a significant rise in infection rates. Most people are regularly exposed to fecal-oral pathogens from other sources, including computer keyboards and dollar bills. The immune system of a relatively healthy and hygienic person is generally able to survive exposure to these pathogens in small quantities, and, indeed, most people do so daily. It's not impossible that one of these illnesses (or any other) could be transmitted from a nudist in an urban environment, but such events would be very uncommon. Public-health experts say that increased nudity would not lead to an increase in infection rates. ( slate.com )

READ MORE - Does Public Nudity Spread Disease? - Not especially.

Nudity Disappears from German Beaches, Parks

Nudity Disappears from German Beaches, Parks -- If you're visiting a public park or beach in Germany expecting to see plenty of exposed flesh, you may be in for a surprise.

The naked sunbathers who once crowded Germany's Baltic beaches and city parks are becoming an endangered species due to shifting demographics, the fall of the Berlin Wall, growing prosperity and widening girths.

Much to the chagrin of Free Body Culture (FKK) enthusiasts who have been stripping off their clothing on beaches and parks since the early 1900s, a cold wind has been blowing across Germany for nudists and their numbers are steadily dwindling.

"German society is changing and it's not easy to be a naturist anymore," said Kurt Fischer, president of the German FKK association (DFK). There are some 500,000 registered nudists and a total of seven million Germans sunbathe naked regularly.

Mostly clothed people relax in Munichs English Garten park. The naked sunbathers who once crowded Germanys Baltic beaches and city parks are becoming an endangered species

"But the numbers are unfortunately falling by about two percent each year," Fischer told a group of reporters in the Foreign Press Association (VAP) while sitting, fully clothed, at a beach bar in Berlin's government quarter. "Times are tough."

The main problem is the shrinking population, Fischer said.

The number of Germans fell by more than 3.2 million over the last three decades even though the country's total population has managed to remain more or less steady at about 82 million thanks to immigration -- often from countries in Eastern Europe and the Balkans as well as Turkey and Arabic countries.

"Our problems are demographic changes and the fact that immigrants aren't interested in social nudity," said Fischer, 70, whose association has such honoured standing in Germany that it is even part of the Olympic Sport Federation (DOSB).

"Germany is relying more and more on immigrants to keep the population steady. But many come from countries with strong religious beliefs. They just aren't into FKK."

Immigrants who arrive from cultures where headscarves are common will not usually be interested in becoming naturists in Germany, he said. Virtues of social nudity

With one of the lowest birth rates in the world, Germany's native population is projected to fall from about 75 million to 50 million by 2050, population researchers say.

The dwindling number of Germans has caused myriad problems -- affecting everything from beer and schnitzel sales to the numbers of schoolchildren. The country's proud nudity traditions are not immune. Fischer said the trend is inexorable.

"It's better that we shrink in a controlled fashion and keep a diverse age-group structure with all age-groups than to try to stay bloated with mostly seniors and few young people," he said.

Fischer added they were using "special trial offers", direct recruitment and other gimmicks to attract young people.

Nude sunbathing has a long tradition in Germany. The Free Body Culture (FKK) movement was founded in the early 20th century and succeeded in taking much of the smut and embarrassment out of nudity.

Even Germany's top model Heidi Klum was quoted in the German media recently extolling the virtues of topless sunbathing and describing difficulties she has pursuing it in places such as the United States and Italy where it's frowned upon or illegal.

"I love to get a sun tan and I don't like white stripes," said Klum. "I don't worry about what other people think." Her parents often ran around in the nude and still do, she said.

In Germany, public nudity on beaches and lakes is by and large tolerated and practitioners face no legal consequences, although some courts have fined some caught hiking nude on public trails or riding bikes or horses while naked.

For decades nudity was a popular way for those living in Communist East Germany to express themselves -- and was a small piece of freedom for those behind the Iron Curtain. East German beaches on the Baltic were always filled with nude bathers.

But that began to gradually fall out of fashion in many areas in the east after the Berlin Wall fell in 1989, and then tensions sometimes flared when some western German tourists unaccustomed to the widespread nudity complained.

"When we moved from western Germany to a town in the east, we noticed there was less of a taboo about nudity," said one American surprised by the ubiquitous nudity in the east. "It really struck me at a nearby lake when people were just naked in the water or getting a tan in the sun and nobody was bothered."

That, however, has also begun to change. "We've got a lot chubbier"

Increasing wealth and fashion-consciousness in Germany and especially the east has hurt the movement as well. "We're all equal in the nude," said Fischer, a westerner who admitted it felt like "torture" for him to sit in his clothes on a bright sunny summer afternoon while talking to journalists.

"When people are naked you can't tell the difference between the man with the doctorate and the man who collects trash. There used to be more of an egalitarian attitude. People now want to distinguish themselves and one way to show off is with fancy swimsuits. It's not easy for the nudist in a society like this."

There are other reasons contributing to decline of the unique German cultural tradition. As a 70-year-old eastern woman named Brigitte pointed out, growing prosperity has led to growing waist sizes.

"In East Germany, there were a lot more people with attractive physiques," said Brigitte, a retired dental assistant and avid naturist who asked that her full name not be used.

"But with the rise in prosperity a lot of people have come apart at the seams and they can't show their bodies in public anymore. We've become a lot chubbier with all this prosperity. It's not really very aesthetic anymore."

Brigitte said she misses the East German era when entire beaches and camping areas were packed with nudists even though parts of West Germany, such as Munich's English Garten park and West Berlin's Tiergarten, have proud FKK traditions.

"I miss those places more and more," she said, admitting that she often feels inhibited about being nude and now wraps a towel around herself until she gets to the water. "You definitely see fewer people in then nude. But I don't think the movement will die out. It's too much fun." ( Reuters)

READ MORE - Nudity Disappears from German Beaches, Parks