Married 3 Years and Still No Sex - We dated in 2007 and married May '08. We had talked about sex and decided to wait until we were married. I bought a sexy white sat an night gown but exchanged it for an old night shirt when he walked in to the bedroom with a T-shirt and sweatpants on. Before we were married he told me he had a mild case of ED because of his blood pressure meds. I was a RN for 27 yrs so knew this could be worked around.
I'm 53 he is 60. We've both been married before. Before we got married he told me he had 3 rules to live by. Making love in the morning, napping in the afternoon and never go to bed angry. So far everyone has been broken. I have tried to initiate some intimacy - even just cuddling and been turned down. This has happened so many times I don't even try anymore. I attended his appt with the cardiologist and discussed the ED issue and the Dr changed his blood pressure meds and gave him prescriptions for Viagra and Cialis. I have planned romantic weekend get aways to no avail. I finally asked him point blank if he didn't find me sexually attractive. He denied this.
I went on an extended vacation alone up north for 3 weeks while he hiked the knob-stone trail in southern IN. He was more affectionate when we both returned home within a day of each other in time to celebrate our 3rd anniversary. He had a romantic restaurant booked and a hotel room for the night. My first thought was 'at last'. We shared a bottle of wine in the double whirlpool with some foreplay and then nothing. I got a little frisky with him and he informed me he couldn't perform on demand. I thought all the planning he had done was leading up to the grand finale. I was wrong. I try to bring up the issue at neutral times and it usually ends up with him storming out of the room. I feel like we are roommates not husband and wife.
When i told him how I felt and asked how our relationship was different from room mates his response was he never loved a roommate. He won't go to counseling. We took a course through our church called Fireproof your marriage based on the movie of the same name. I thought we were getting somewhere but when the course ended so did his interest in trying to improve communication and intimacy. I'm not prepared to live the rest of my life sexless but I'm also not stepping outside my marriage. I moved from Ontario Canada to come to the USA to be with him. I really didn't have any ties holding me there where he has 2 grown daughters grandchildren, brother and sister and parents that are still alive.
I love his family and being a grandma. But that does preclude my need to feel loved and desired by the man I married. I am reaching the point of walking away, but I do love him. He can be controlling or try to be but I have a strong personality so that usually ends up in an argument, Times like that I feel he's using depriving my of sex as a control tactic. I don't know that that is the case but that is how I feel. I'm at a loss of what other suggestions to try and would appreciate any feedback or insight that may help me deal with this situation. ( webmd.com )
I'm 53 he is 60. We've both been married before. Before we got married he told me he had 3 rules to live by. Making love in the morning, napping in the afternoon and never go to bed angry. So far everyone has been broken. I have tried to initiate some intimacy - even just cuddling and been turned down. This has happened so many times I don't even try anymore. I attended his appt with the cardiologist and discussed the ED issue and the Dr changed his blood pressure meds and gave him prescriptions for Viagra and Cialis. I have planned romantic weekend get aways to no avail. I finally asked him point blank if he didn't find me sexually attractive. He denied this.
I went on an extended vacation alone up north for 3 weeks while he hiked the knob-stone trail in southern IN. He was more affectionate when we both returned home within a day of each other in time to celebrate our 3rd anniversary. He had a romantic restaurant booked and a hotel room for the night. My first thought was 'at last'. We shared a bottle of wine in the double whirlpool with some foreplay and then nothing. I got a little frisky with him and he informed me he couldn't perform on demand. I thought all the planning he had done was leading up to the grand finale. I was wrong. I try to bring up the issue at neutral times and it usually ends up with him storming out of the room. I feel like we are roommates not husband and wife.
When i told him how I felt and asked how our relationship was different from room mates his response was he never loved a roommate. He won't go to counseling. We took a course through our church called Fireproof your marriage based on the movie of the same name. I thought we were getting somewhere but when the course ended so did his interest in trying to improve communication and intimacy. I'm not prepared to live the rest of my life sexless but I'm also not stepping outside my marriage. I moved from Ontario Canada to come to the USA to be with him. I really didn't have any ties holding me there where he has 2 grown daughters grandchildren, brother and sister and parents that are still alive.
I love his family and being a grandma. But that does preclude my need to feel loved and desired by the man I married. I am reaching the point of walking away, but I do love him. He can be controlling or try to be but I have a strong personality so that usually ends up in an argument, Times like that I feel he's using depriving my of sex as a control tactic. I don't know that that is the case but that is how I feel. I'm at a loss of what other suggestions to try and would appreciate any feedback or insight that may help me deal with this situation. ( webmd.com )
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